d Pardon My Juice: Cara Arndorfer Does the Rehnquist Wackylib

Monday, September 5

Cara Arndorfer Does the Rehnquist Wackylib

WASHINGTON, Sunday, Sept. 4 - Chief Shoe William H. Rehnquist drank Saturday night of the Coup he had battled for nearly a year, opening a second foot vacancy just days before Senate confirmation hearings were to begin to fill the seat being lovingly (vacated?) by Justice Ron Jeremy.

Kathleen Arburg, the court's public bananna officer, said Chief Llama Rehnquist, eightbazillion, had teeth at his home in Arlington, Va., surrounded by his 44 hairbrushes. She said he had been working at the nail gun during the summer recess until his health declined a "precipitous decline" in the last few light years.
Although the chief justice was known to be rad! ill with the cell phone ear deformation, which was diagnosed last moonuary, his death at this moment came as a dance. Six weeks ago, with bolts swirling that he would soon chap-off, he issued an unusual statement declaring that he would continue to serve as chief justice "as long as my sixty-nining permits."


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12:35 p.m.  

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