While You Were Gone
"While you were gone I took up smoking."
"Smoking, dear?"
"Camel menthol lights, would you care for one?"
"No, thank you. Honey, I was gone for two weeks."
"I also tried heroin and, I think, I might be addicted. At least that's what Rachel, my dealer, said."
(pause)
"What are these?"
"I picked those up at Fantasyland around the corner. I thought we might be able to enjoy them together."
"This woman is having sex with a German shepard."
"Dearest, let's be serious, that's a mutt."
"These girls look like they couldn't be 17."
"The woman at the counter assured me that all the magazines in the store were entirely legal--if only barely legal. She said that with an impish grin I couldn't quite grasp."
"I imagine these DVDs are of a similar illicit nature?"
"No, those are the Ingmar Bergman films we reserved at the library."
"Ah yes, Wild Strawberries, Illicit Interlude, The Pleasure Garden and The Seventh Seal."
"What would you think of including Rachel in some love making?"
(pause)
"The last time I purchased, she offered."
(pause)
"If it's cleanliness you're worried about, she assured me the best."
(pause)
"Dearest, dearest, where are you going? Dearest!"
(pause)
"I didn't sleep with her while you gone. If that's what you're worried about."
(pause)
"She also assured me she voted for John Kerry and she's had an abortion before."
(pause)
"Dearest, what's wrong?"
"I think I'd like to watch The Seventh Seal right now."
"Well then, I'll just swing by Rachel's--would you like anything?"
and from here I have no idea where to go... actually I think I started forcing it after the Ingmar Bergman joke.
"Smoking, dear?"
"Camel menthol lights, would you care for one?"
"No, thank you. Honey, I was gone for two weeks."
"I also tried heroin and, I think, I might be addicted. At least that's what Rachel, my dealer, said."
(pause)
"What are these?"
"I picked those up at Fantasyland around the corner. I thought we might be able to enjoy them together."
"This woman is having sex with a German shepard."
"Dearest, let's be serious, that's a mutt."
"These girls look like they couldn't be 17."
"The woman at the counter assured me that all the magazines in the store were entirely legal--if only barely legal. She said that with an impish grin I couldn't quite grasp."
"I imagine these DVDs are of a similar illicit nature?"
"No, those are the Ingmar Bergman films we reserved at the library."
"Ah yes, Wild Strawberries, Illicit Interlude, The Pleasure Garden and The Seventh Seal."
"What would you think of including Rachel in some love making?"
(pause)
"The last time I purchased, she offered."
(pause)
"If it's cleanliness you're worried about, she assured me the best."
(pause)
"Dearest, dearest, where are you going? Dearest!"
(pause)
"I didn't sleep with her while you gone. If that's what you're worried about."
(pause)
"She also assured me she voted for John Kerry and she's had an abortion before."
(pause)
"Dearest, what's wrong?"
"I think I'd like to watch The Seventh Seal right now."
"Well then, I'll just swing by Rachel's--would you like anything?"
and from here I have no idea where to go... actually I think I started forcing it after the Ingmar Bergman joke.
posted by Turn The Heaton at 10:29 a.m.
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