d Pardon My Juice: MySpace Quiz

Wednesday, December 21

MySpace Quiz

Enough of all this "I started this at" and "what kind of car do you drive" and "have you ever been drunk" bullcrap, let's get to the nitty-gritty, the nuts and balls of what everyone wants to know about you.

Have you ever peed on yourself and not washed up afterwards? Ever "just let some go" to relieve the pressure?

Ever not washed your hands after wiping the crap from your ass?

Do you believe in God because it makes life more explicable?

Do you pretend to read books you've never read? If so, which ones and why?

What bands do you like because your friends do?

How often do you think about other people during sex?

How often do you admire your own genitals?

How often do you take great pleasure from watching other people fail?

What is the thing that makes you smile most often that makes other people cringe?

What is the phrase(s) you think but never say when other people ask or tell you to do something?

Who is the friend you like only in the context of other friends?

How often do you intentionally start arguments?

Favorite swear word? Why?

What racial stereotypes do you believe?

When was the last time you bumped into a parked car and not left a note telling them?

Do you have an hierarchy of friends? In other words, do you only call some friends when other friends are not available?

Do you keep one friend because you'll know they're almost always available?

Do you keep some friends because they make you feel more cool?

How often do you cynically criticize other people's dreams? When was the last time?

Do you get mad at people and, in retribution, tell their secrets to other people? When was the last time?

Ever stopped liking someone but kept hanging out with them because you were lonely?

How often are you lonely?

How often do you alleiviate your loneliness by using MySpace?

Watching TV?

Reading a book?

Reading a magazine?

Reading a magazine about people who are living the life you're not but want to?

When buying clothes, shoes or accessories, how often do you think about the poor foreign kids making it and not care about those poor foreign kids?

Do you know what nihilism is?

What word or words do you think you use incorrectly but still use because no one calls you on it?

Do you fetishize other cultures? (have tattoos in languages you don't speak, celebrate St. Patty's day like you're Irish, use cute french phrases, pronounce schedule "shedyule," etc.)

Do people of different ethnicities turn you on because they are of a different ethnicity?

When thinking about politics do you ever give up and think "fuck 'em all?" Have you ever suggested to "nuke the bastards" as a solution to an international dispute or problem?

After 9/11, did you do what the government said because you were terrified you might die?

After 9/11, did you think President Bush was doing a good job or did you just say that because you were scared?

How long after 9/11 did it take for you to start making jokes about 9/11?

Do you use ethnic slurs and then say they are "jokes?"

Do you feel like there is a 'right way' and a 'wrong way' to live? What are those ways?

Do you pass judgement on people immediately? Based on looks? Based on clothes? Based on the things they are talking about? Based on the color of their skin? Based on intelligence? Based on how they walk? Based on an accent or dialect?

Do you consider yourself a good person?


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