d Pardon My Juice: The Rauschenberg

Tuesday, November 29

The Rauschenberg

MAN: Uhh, excuse me, I'd like to buy the Rauschenberg over there.
M: The Rauschenberg, over in the corner there.
GA: Oh, you mean the Duchamp.
M: There's no Duchamp over there. I mean the Rauschenberg.
GA: The whositswhatsits?
M: The Rauschenberg, the collage there in the corner, awkwardly placed next to the Magritte.
GA: Ohh, the Magritte! A fine choice, a good choice.
M: Yes, the Magritte is good, but I'd like the Rauschenberg.
GA: Magritte's not really to my taste, I much prefer the Existensialists, but--you know, what will you do when you work at this sort of gallery.
M: Certainly you mean the Expressionists.
GA: No, Magritte's not to my tastes, but I'll ring you up for it.
M: I'm really not asking for the Magritte. It's a fine painting but I don't want it.
GA: No one asks me for my opinon. Oh no, they're always so interested in what they like, in what they want. No one ever bothers to ask me what I'd like. All these colors and no pictures to look at. I just work for the gallery, that's it. The Magritte's two-fifty.
M: I don't want the Magritte, I want the Rauschenberg. Can I show you which one I mean?
GA: You can show me, but I won't like it. Not one bit. What are you? Some kind of hoity-toity, light-in-the-loafers college man? You probably teach gender studies or Chaucer or something.
M: Look, what I do doesn't matter, I just want to buy that painting there in the corner.
GA: The always say, "It's a matter of personal taste. I just like that painting." Certainly, Archimedes didn't say that when he wrote his discourse on art. Certainly not.
M: Fine, how much for the Duchamp?
GA: The Duchamp's 720. But we don't have it in stock right now.

(I don't know where this goes or if it went anywhere to begin with.)


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