d Pardon My Juice: Darby Conley Assaulted

Monday, October 3

Darby Conley Assaulted

Darby Conley, creator and author of the popular comic strip 'Get Fuzzy,' was assaulted outside his home yesterday by a disgruntled fan. The disgruntled fan, 22-year-old University of Oregon undergraduate Kellen Terrett, waited outside Conley's home and then attacked him.

"He was sitting on my doorstep when I got back from getting some groceries. He asked me if I was Darby Conley and if I wrote 'Get Fuzzy,' then he punched me in the face and started shouting at me," reported Conley. "It didn't hurt very bad, though. I think he was pulling his punches."

Conley reports that he shouted things like "You've given up your edge," and "Write funny comics again." Conley thinks he was commenting on his recent string of public-service-announcement-like comics about the history of cats and dogs and the nature pet overpopulation problem in the US.

Terrett hit Conley several times in the face and chest and kicked him twice when Conley fell to the ground. Conley's only injury was a black left eye and a bruise on left thigh.

A neighbor called police who responded quickly. They pulled Terrett off Conley and handcuffed him.

"We had to forcibly push him into the sqaud car," said Sherrif Ray Atkins, "all the while he was shouting: 'Don't give up your edge, Conley. You used to be so funny. You're all I have left. Don't go down like Charlie Schultz or Jim Davis. Remember the lessons of Gary Larsen and that guy who wrote Calvin and Hobbes! Don't give up, Conley, don't give up!' It was really depressing."

Terrett appeared later that evening at the county jail. He was placid and had a far away look in his eyes. "It really was all I have left. Now I have nothing. Nothing at all." When asked what he was referring to, Terrett refused to give any details. He responded with "It's been a hard few weeks; a hard few weeks."

In a suprising move, Conley willl not be pressing charges.

"He's right, I have lost my edge. I really don't want 'Get Fuzzy' to become like Garfield, where it was funny at first but totally sold out and was really not funny at all. I mean did you see that movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt? And what was Bill Murray thinking?" Conley said.

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