d Pardon My Juice: Excerpts From the Personal Notes of Dr. Edward F. Morningwood

Sunday, October 9

Excerpts From the Personal Notes of Dr. Edward F. Morningwood

September 31, 2005
...It appears that Terrett is slipping further and further into an inexplicable insanity. Medically, psychologically, even spiritually, we can identify no clear cause. So far, all that we can ascertain is that an event surrounding, or the action itself, is at the start: his brother Christian destroyed his favorite vinyl copy of Ziggy Stardust. We've tried to elicit a response from him by playing the record but all that happens is that the spew of words both verbal and written stops and he becomes listless and sings tunelessly along with the words...

October 2, 2005
...I tried dressing as David Bowie circa Ziggy Stardust and interviewed Terrett, thinking that Bowie might represent some kind of priest or god-like figure but, like a cat afraid of a snake, Terrett skittered away and hid in a corner. The results of this therapy were only negative. He stayed in the corner for a full three hours after I left his padded cell. Then, lacking any form of writing utensil, he defecated into his hand and starting drawing a picture of, I think, Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guards the Acheron in Hades, on the wall. That, or he didn't get the head right twice. He sat quietly and admired his work before the servants cleaned it up... my wife thinks I should diagnose Schizophrenia for Terrett, but what the fuck does she know about psychology, the ignorant slut... listened to Ziggy Stardust today. There is something dusky and attractive about it, a world someone could get lost in...

October 3, 2005
...I'm avoiding any comparison to the Marquis de Sade with Terrett just because he'd like it so much... he was unusually quiet today... requested a copy of The Giver by Lois Lowry, unsure of its meaning...

October 4, 2005
...In full voice, Terrett recited all of Henry V from memory. Thinking Shakepspeare would be a key to get him to speak with us, I enlistened Dr. Glove, therapist and Shakespeare afficianado to speak with him, Terrett spoke with great knowledge and love about Shakespeare but refused to speak about anything else. His problem is unique, the DSM gives me no help of any kind, the treatment is therefore entirely my own...

October 7, 2005
...Mumbling something about a lightsabre, Terrett stabbed himself in the leg and screamed bloody murder. Passed out, awoke and was entirely coherant and logical. We had no choice but to release him, but I'm afraid he'll only experience more episodes of his unique psychopathology....

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