d Pardon My Juice: "Juice" writer Admits to Lying on Oprah

Friday, January 27

"Juice" writer Admits to Lying on Oprah

In a shocking display of anger and rage, Oprah Winfrey has kicked another great authors out of the famed “Book Club”.

Author Kellen Terrett’s memoir “How I fucked the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleading Team and other Tales of Heroism” has been official removed from and disgraced in front of millions of views this afternoon. The shamed author stated to Oprah “Look, I didn’t fuck all of them. But most of those other stories are true. I really Did kill President Kennedy”.

Fans of both the book and the show were shock to hear such remarks from one of the highest selling authors since Hitler’s “Kamf and Circumstances”.

“Why’d he tell us that his Penis was so big they cry’d for thar Mothers?!” asked Chelsea Bigs from Atlanta. “T’s like he’s one a them Government spy’s try’n to beat up a Iraqi and not tell’n us he took photos, or somethang”.

Oprah at one point went down on her knees and begged Terrett to take back the fact that he’d lied. Her wishing for everyone at home to turn off their sets and pray. His only reply was to say that he had wanted to engage in intercourse with at least half the NFL teams cheerleaders but was unable to become erect. He admitted to having lied about that comment later.

No answers were given as to the size of Mr. Terrett’s head is the photos or video taken during the program. Members of the audience kept yelling “Why’s your Head SO BIG!”. The author would simply respond “ Takes one to know one, Ass Face!”.

Ms. Winfrey finally placed a shotgun barrel in her enormous mouth and cried “Please Kellen, Just say you Fucked them. Say You Did em!” The author, strewn with gilt, kissed her on the check and left the stage.

No further word at this time to the whereabouts of the author, the host, or the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.


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