d Pardon My Juice: Hey DumbShit Indie Grrls!

Sunday, October 16

Hey DumbShit Indie Grrls!


I use to think Indie girls (Grrl’s as it says on one of their denim jackets, right next to the Operation Ivy patch) were cute, even hot. Heavy eye shadow, colored hair, leather boots, and other dated accouterment to make their chosen idiosyncratic lifestyle fit like a square peg in a cybernetic circle. What’s not to like about freethinking females who have great taste in movies, music and a history of bad sexual encounters. A fucking Girl who can talk more about the Elliot Smiths earlier work than I can talk about Hawkman comics.

But Indie Grrl’s Nation wide have gone to far. I’m tired of the idiotic fixation of sex icon Bettie Page. Girls, how can you tote female enlightenment and independence when you’ve got a sex slave tattooed into your left calf? I don’t go walking around town with a dude jamming a girl on my backpack, or have Hulk Hogan porn magnets on my FUCKING REFRIGERATOR!

And it’s not just the girls. Indie guys as well ogle* this feminine temptress. If you dudes are looking to be that sensitive/edgy type with the Nick Drake or Donovan album next to your bedside, just a suggestion from a nerd; Bettie Page Does not equal Pussy. And if the Girls all into you BECAUSE of Bettie Page, you’re just inviting a VD or miniature pet crustacean into your pubic area. Yippee Skippee!

Who Do I ogle? Bat Girl! Curvy, Wears a Mask and has the red hair hanging out the back. With all the sex appeal of the original batman suit plus natural mountains and valleys to tease me. Now that’s a Sex Symbol I’d like to get into…literally.


I feel like a puritan preacher here! Down With Bettie Page!


*o·gle
to look at somebody for sexual enjoyment or as a way of showing sexual interest

n
a prolonged flirtatious or desirous look at somebody

Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

1 Comments:

Blogger Turn The Heaton said...

Although, you have to admit Bettie Page is a little kinky...

1:25 a.m.  

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