d Pardon My Juice: Good for the environment

Wednesday, October 26

Good for the environment

Now there's a term. "Good for the environment." It's a little disconcerting if you ask me. Just the other day I had sometbody complain to me about not cutting up the six pack rings from some "soda" I had just consumed. When the issue was brought up I politely retorted with idea that it wasn't my fault the shit was ending up in the ocean where fish and birds were choking on it. I proposed that maybe there was a greater power at hand that possibly had an effect on where my garbage ended up. The second party at hand seemed confused at this and persisted with the arguement. Two words, "Fucking Hippies!"

Now hypothetically, the world is just a system of energy that is constantly being maninpulated through stages in a cycle. Laws of physics state that energy cannot be created or destroyed. Now I thought about this and realized that modern plumbing is totally counterintuitive to our (assuming we've all read some books) understanding that we opereate on the circle of life system. What goes around comes around. Our parents fuck. We are born. We die. Our dead bodies, in the ground, feed the plants which in turn feed future people who will fuck and become parents. Let me step back and focus mainly on one particular aspect of our lives in respect to this delicate life cycle. SHITTING.

We eat. We consume. We, as we are phisiologically obligated to, change one thing into another, specifically food into crap. This crap, as our rotting bodies in the soil, is manipulated energy that could potentially feed various parts of the ecosystem we live in. However, modern plumbing has led us to create a concentration, an unneeded surplus, of this particular resource. We pipe it all to one centralized locale.

Now crap does not beget more crap. Crap, amongst itself, will just sit and be crap. We use various fertilizers, including many that are cow manure based. This raises some questions. It's not okay to crap in your back yard, but it's okay to go the store, buy 40 lb. bags of cow shiw and scatter that all around your house? Is there something I missed? Is there more utility in a pricey bag of cow shit than there is in my own human defications?

I think I understand now why the cow is such a holy animal in other cultures. You can eat it, wear it, make wallets out of it, upholster our cars with it, drink it's bodily fluids (milk), tip it over while it sleeps for a good laugh and apparently scatter it's shit in your garden to ensure a fruitful harvest.

I think this really puts into perspective the use of the term "Bullshit" which is usually used to imply inaccuracy of assessment.

Back to my point, I think it is silly that we pipeline our feces to who knows where. We should store it up and be forced to figure out uses for it, like people who live in RV's and trailor parks. I'll tell you, if I had a tank of shit under my yard, I'd think twice about how much I was putting into it and what I could do to keep it empty and 'clean'.

I am proposing a movement here (no pun intended). A movement not to conserve but to utilize our own human waste. This will be hard and I anticipate a great deal of trouble amongst misbelievers. Burning bags of poop on doorsteps may reach all time highs. Neighbors may be caught deficating on the lawns of neighbors which at first will be interpreted as vile and hostile. Where in reality, it is the very lack of such actions which has been the problem this entire time.

3 Comments:

Blogger Turn The Heaton said...

Are you suggesting that all that nonsense we talk while drunk or hanging out with each other is actually "good for the environment?" Because you should really read this book "On Bullshit"

Good work by the way.

9:54 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Terrett said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:59 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't Listen to Greg. He's fucking Horney on this Damn Book. Plus he throws underhand and smells lieka fish. "On Bullshit" this "On Bullshit" that. Justifies every choice he's ever had to make.

10:29 a.m.  

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